The Always-Open Request Queue:
- WITCH based Original Characters Charlie Miller and sibling Kelly. --In Progress 38%--FantasyRebirth96
- Pokemon Mega Cerulean Charizard --In Progress 10%--vickymichaelis
- Original father+daughter characters Karel and Lili as allies. --In Progress 80%--SteveAnime
- Mitsuru Kirijo (Persona 3) and character Steve in swimsuits at the beach.Movie-Man
- Original pirate characters, 5 females, in either group or individual images. Next up, 5 of 5WereKatt
- Kitty Pride as a Werecat-girlOrochimizuki
- His two original Characters + Naruto character Madara in a group/family picture.MegaElekid947
- Yu-Gi-Oh Zexel characters, Yuma and Rio, kneeling in a moment of grief and comfortCrimsonVampiress
- Original character Laura Connel in Vampire Knight school uniform (night class)
- Picture of requester..joyfully hugging a bewildered troll while becoming slowly petrified =_=;
If you even sorta know me, you know that I am eternally tired. I might joke that I was born tired, but I really think that must be true. Lately my summer insomnia and sleeping schedule have creeped up on me early. It makes it really hard to work--or function-- and is sort of a pain, but I'll do my best to continue working.
Lately, though, I'm tired in a way that I'm not sure I've ever been. My sleep schedule is so erratic, but even when I do sleep it's a strange amount in such a way that my sleeping hours are trying to even out with my waking hours. Just the other day I slept a broken 12 hours (I don't often sleep solidly at length). When I finally got up, I felt fine for only an hour or two before feeling as though I hadn't slept in over a day. I'm getting tired to a really strange point where I become dizzy, sometimes nauseous, and sometimes feel as though I'm about to drop wherever I am and despite whatever I'm doing. It's a really miserable feeling. To join in the fray--as though I need anything else--I have this weird headache that has been haunting me the last few days. The way I'm taking the alternating aspirins and ibuprofen's you'd think my liver would reject me. (My brain totally made the old-fashioned drumkit joke roll right there. Heheh..)
Okay, enough of that crap. Who cares, right? It isn't like rambling changes it, I suppose it's more of a way for me to document it for myself for later.
My sister got into contact with an old friend a while back, someone we knew as kids. It seems like there was a consensus that I should reach out to him. Despite my own feelings on it, I did. I felt better having done so, what with my obsessive personality I would have tortured myself relentlessly for months over it, but it turned out to not really go anywhere anyway. That person ignored my preferences and would start conversations and then instantly be 'busy'. I don't mind if people want to talk sporadically over a day, week or, hell, even a month. I don't mind broken up conversation or even long periods of time between a penpal-esque email response, but the one thing I absolutely cannot stand is someone starting a conversation with you and instantly saying they're busy and acting put-off. It pisses me off. If you start out saying something and make sure you mentioned you might be slow to reply, I don't care. I'm cool. But using no punctuation, no capitals, and then striking up a conversation just to instantly blow me off for replying? Why not throw on some shitty grammar and misspellings to really round it out?! (What is 'all things I hate' for 200, Alex!) It just drives me nuts.. So that happened twice and then I never heard from him again. It's just as well. Just from the little I know, I'm not sure we'd even get on anymore or have anything to talk about. He used to be a really close friend to me growing up, but now he's someone who gets on better with my sister--which says volumes. She and I have very different personalities, so generally people who like one of us doesn't like the other one. It's that sort of thing.
I have to say, I'm really relieved. It's a little sad, but I really also went through a lot losing that friend years ago. I obsessed for years about the life I had in Jane and it took a lot for me to give myself a little peace and closure and let go. I have memories that are no longer ghosts that haunt me, but nostalgic things that can make me lose myself in good feelings instead of just all bad. The thought of that person showing up now was something I didn't want. I guess I don't trust myself not to remember and become involved in the feelings I had after leaving--and I didn't want my memories of my dear friend corrupted by the person he's become. That happened with his brother and my friend. She and he had been very off-and-on going out (in that ridiculous way kids went out back then) and she really liked him, despite the kind of person he often was. Years later she runs into him and the horrible kind of guy he became really ruined who he was back then for her in her memories. Things that used to make her smile now make her cringe and think how she dodged a scary bullet. I don't want to have to go through that as well. And, really, I would hate to have someone look at me that way, too. People change over time and I really don't want to have someone think I've changed for the worse and have it overwrite who I was back then. I didn't at the time, but in hindsight.. I really miss that version of me. She was alright. You know, despite the severe depression and thoughts of suicide. But since those things kind of stayed with me as an incurable disease, I suppose in some ways I'd take parts of that version of myself over parts of who I am now. Then again, as naive as I can be now, I was way worse then.. Actually, I was borderline stupid with how much I believed people. =_= Wow, yeah, I was sort of an idiot. Then again, I've never been great with the social interaction stuff, so, yeah... Come to think of it, it's no wonder I'm not entirely trusting.
Okay, moving on.. So a while back Jemi downloaded a couple demos on the PS4: the new FFXV Carbuncle demo (which, aside from the horrible battle system and camera issues I liked--in spite of the cliche Alice in Wonderland theme) and Unravel, a game with a little yarn guy--named Yarny--in picturesque environments. A couple weeks ago I was restless and stir-crazy and I tried it out despite the yarn look (those new yarn-gimmick games really hurt my eyes, so I can't play them)--and then I was hooked. And also very determined to allow the obsessive completionist in me to get a win and nab all of those trophies.
Within a couple days I had beaten the game and finished out collecting all of the trophies within the week. Ahhh, the master... Some of that stuff was freaking hard! It takes some getting used to, but you can get the hang of it and, aside from the moments of frustration, it was really fun! Well, and really sad. The story from the opening scene made me feel super depressed, but swinging around on stuff sort of evens it out. The little studio who made it did a fantastic job! My only real complaints are: 1--having the environments so seamless that it's hard to tell movable/usable objects from ones that are not and 2-- having yarn-grip/swing points in places where there is no purpose, so it fucks you up. How many minutes did I waste looking for secrets in places there were none?! And then accidentally skipping other places thinking it was another ploy just to have to replay the level because I missed the secret there! ARGH! Don't put in useless things!!!! Yes, that is the extent of my rage at the topic, four exclamation points.
Alright, anyway.. I say that too much.. *Ahem* To continue on, tomorrow is Mother's Day. I'm treating my mom out to a restaurant we haven't tried yet, so I'm trying to condition myself to be prepared for any complaints she may have. That's always something to contend with. I'm also trying to ready myself for her to be disappointed in the gift I bought her. I was super psyched because I decided to buy all her presents at once this year and do a 'theme' year--I got her three books written by different members of a family giving their own perspectives on something that happened in their lives. Well, the father's book is more of a history on his country instead of his side--a huge blundering mistake, I think--and the mother's feels like over-exaggeration and propaganda mixed with real life horrors, but the daughter's book, the newest one, is a combination of her perspective of the events during her childhood and a continuation of what happens after her mother's story ends. It's the best written and is very compelling.
Anyway, my mom liked the movie version of the mom's story when I was a kid, so I thought the book would be a good gift (she's really hard to buy for) and that's when I saw the other two. So I waited until February (I was looking in December and the newest book wouldn't be released til January) and bought them all so that I would have her mother's day, birthday and Christmas gifts all ready to go! (I like to be prepared and haven't been able to the last few years.) Of course the last time I was with my mom she had me go with her to some nursery and pointed to a really expensive tree and said she'd rather have that than any of the things I was planning... Which was just what I wanted, to continuously feel like I disappoint my mother in every way imaginable. So I already know she isn't going to be thrilled and now I just want to get through these things.. And, to top it off, I have go try to get through this weekend so that I can let my sister know next week (so that she isn't a jerk to me tomorrow) that Jemi didn't get Liam's birthday off, so we can't attend his party. Yeah, I can't wait for her to go off.. I'm hoping she can either consider doing something else with us the next day on Jemi's day off or maybe moving the party by a day, which I really wouldn't expect. I mean, doing something the day AFTER your birthday kind of sucks.. Well, we'll see. Either way, I don't foresee her being too forgiving. My family isn't made that way.
Meh.. I slept just under eleven hours last night and I'm feeling like I'm about to pass out, I'm so tired. So lame.. I get more sleep than anyone I know and it's like this. It's worse if I don't sleep, though.. Oh well.
Well, here's hoping I can get some more work done and posted soon. I hate how long it takes me to do anything, but then I'm also subject to my mood, if I'm feeling well, if I have time to myself or if it's Jemi's day off, if I have errands, if the freaking internet is having yet ANOTHER insanely long outage (the last two were around 7 1/2 hours and 17 hours, respectively. Go Charter! Assholes..). So here's hoping I can be motivated, focused and ...hell, just able to get some things done.