Hello, 2024. I am not prepared for you, but that's life. Zef has her second deflux procedure on Thursday the 11th. What a way to start the year. I feel anxious about it, but there are go good alternatives. I finally started drawing again. Not much, but I will post them. I am also halfway through my first light novel. It takes place in different worlds, so I get to mess with peoples' heads, so that's kinda fun. I am really stressed. And lonely. I made a few new friends--online--but they're basically kids, so I feel like I have to hold back. There's this invisible boundary I feel like I shouldn't cross, so I can't be completely at ease saying everything I want because I have that awareness that it could come across as a creeper. When did life get so complicated? You can't even be friends with anybody without worrying people will think you're some kind of predator. That thought is on my mind sometimes when I chat with them. That lack of innocence that I know exists in the world can lessen the enjoyment of simple banter. But these kids are pretty nice. They're people I would have liked as a kid. If only, right? But we can't ever go back. I haven't been very well lately. I still have that covid cough from 2022 that comes and goes. I'm still having a constant battle with my depression that has been worse since just before Christmas. I still have that child's thought of, "I want to go home." The adult me whispers back, " That place doesn't exist anymore." I wish I could shake this feeling. I miss Mindy. I miss Emile. Imiss the friends I had back in Jr High, Randy, especially, and the online friends in High school. I miss my classmates from AI, and I miss the me that tasted freedom and independence and felt proud. I miss having real hope for the future. Sigh. Well, it is what it is.